My Thoughts on Self-Help Books

Sep 10, 2025    m. Sep 10, 2025

If you’re interested in something, read about it

People are obsessed with what to read. I say read stuff you’re interested in and like - you’ll read more and remember more. Life is too short and there are too many books to read stuff that you don’t enjoy, regardless of how highly recommended it is.

If something’s important, shouldn’t you read at least a few books on it?

Subjects like love, personal finance, mental health, organization, productivity, health, and habits are important, so maybe it makes sense to read a few books on those topics. Usually these books are easy/quick reads.

I read a widely recommended book on love and dating - the fact that I’m hesitant to share the title is testament to how touchy this subject-matter is - and found it somewhat helpful. I recommended it to a friend who was struggling with dating and his response was something along the lines of “I probably won’t read that… I don’t really like self-help books”. If you care about something, read a few books about it.

You don’t have to agree with everything you read, in fact you should look for points of disagreement

Sometimes you learn more from books and advice you disagree with rather than that which you agree with. If you’re not reading anything you disagree with than that means one of the following is true:

I met a guy in Tompkins Square Park who had one of the greatest hot takes I’ve ever heard: No one has ever learned anything from reading. I don’t think this is true, but it’s funny and I appreciate hot takes. (See my post on my annoyance with fake hot takes)

This is okay, but a friend once told me “you should always have an opinion - but be willing to adjust it.” This idea is summed up in a phrase I think coined by a podcast/VC guy (Marc Andressen): “strong opinions, loosely held”. t makes it easier to start from something and then challenge your existing beliefes - kind of like the scientific method: make a hypothesis and test it.

This is a sign you are in an echo chamber and alarm bells should be going off. Read some stuff you disagree with

A lot of times it’s easier to read books than to do the actual work

Don’t be lazy, read 2, max 3 books and then go do the thing in the real world. Intellectual people tend to procrastinate in very insidious, crafty ways - procrastinating on fundamnetally pragmatic, applicable tasks by doing more research is one of them.

There are some perverse incentives in publishing self-help books

Many genres are guilty of this (especially nutrition and self-help), but I think there are a few rules that can help here:

Self-help is a weird term, especially because you’re relying on someone else (the author) to help you

Lots of things that have self in them are weird:

I think I need to start a whole list of terms that bother me…